Parnell in London Sept 2018

(From r.) James, Sarah, Shawn, Laurel, Jutta, Annabel, Mark.

It’s been a bit of a journey getting here, but with three annual London (and York) events with Laurel Parnell behind us now, and the first successful outings this year of Mark Brayne’s Unleash your EMDR: Release the Magic weekend courses, we now have in place a rich supporting array of trainings to get your advanced EMDR practice truly up and running.

At the top of this post a cheerful picture of our EMDR Focus Facilitator team, with Laurel at the heart and positioned in front of the Mary Ward House Conference Centre where 45 plucky trainees enjoyed three autumn days being inspired by Laurel’s approach to Attachment-Focused EMDR, with daily live demos and a lot of learning.

And, the enthusiasm for this training is now particularly reassuring, with as many colleagues on the waiting list as were able to attend, highlighting how Laurel’s approach is being increasingly accepted as mainstream EMDR, entirely in accordance with the Standard Protocol as we call it, and turbo-charging work especially with more complex clients.

Feedback from this September’s London training has been overwhelmingly positive… (Scroll right on down top the bottom for a stunning report from one of our trainees on how powerful AF-EMDR can be.)

I did so love the weekend with you and Laurel and your good aiders.  I jumped straight in on Monday trying it out all week.  Although it didn’t go ‘text-book’ style – meeting some cognitive challenges along the way, I know  this is the way forward in my work.

Laurel was very engaging and skilful in her delivery. It was easy to understand and follow. The rationale for this approach was clear. It was a very inspiring training. I feel better equipped as an EMDR therapist to deliver EMDR in a more gentle and thoughtful way, where I can help minimise what can often feel like an overwhelming process for some clients.

The opportunity to train with Laurel was amazing.

This was a fantastic three days. I gained so much from the presentations, the demonstrations and the practicums. I am already integrating the skills into my practice with great effect. Thank you so much!

Laurel’s next London visit in September 2019 is already full, with a very long waiting list, but we’re registering interest in her 2020 training, most probably again around the autumn equinox. Still, no need for disappointment.

Mark Brayne’s own two-day Unleash your EMDR weekends, although perhaps more of a tribute band act to Parnell’s real thing, do cover the same basic ground as Laurel’s trainings, with some of his own transpersonal take added.

What’s more, they’re personally approved by Laurel, entitling trainees to join her Parnell Institute with its potential for referrals from clients specifically seeking EMDR with an Attachment Focus.

See here for dates and a registration form.

So, here’s our colleague’s story:

This is just a lovely story that i wanted to share with you.

N came to see me three months ago. She had been a client of our centre for years having individual therapy. Now 47, she was referred to me because she was pretty hysterical around her 17-year-old son.

This client was raised in hotels around the world by two parents who emotionally neglected her, both of them pretty narcissistic.

She went on, of course, to marry someone narcissistic – a nightclub owner – and had an affair with a similar type (actually even worse), and her marriage ended 10 years ago.

We’ve been working twice per week or so for the past few months, with the odd week gap for holidays / child sickness etc.

It’s been a massive struggle to get her working in a bridging way because she was so invested in taking on the responsibility for the world, like 98% invested.

Every time we did go back however, we found abuse, neglect, shaming etc. It was off the charts. She would bridge just fine, but we had to wait a week or so for her to admit the changes in her current life.

Two weeks ago we had an immense session bridging back from guilt around her mother – and she got rid of the lot. A monumentally shifting session.

Then last week I was wondering which way to go with her next. I knew we needed to target the responsibility next, but I had to be so careful how to broach it with her.

You know the sort, caring, empathetic, a “giver”, and hiding her co-dependence to others whilst being completely in denial about it herself.

Luckily we bridged back to her mother leaving for the second time in her life (it had happened aged nine, then again aged 11) and some feelings of sexual energy she’d experienced with her dad on the sofa the day of mother’s second departure. We processed that.

At the start of the session I’d brought in the notion of the Ideal Mother and I kid you not, she had described her ideal mother in exactly the same way Jim Knipe would describe emotional attunement.

She then described (in her own words) feeling safe, seen, soothed and secure around this Ideal Mother.

She was gobsmacked at this – it ALL came organically from her. I don’t think she was aware of the progress she was making. She realised she had never felt safe her entire life.

We then brought in the Ideal Mother to parent different ego states on her journey – her 3-year-old and her 11-year-old specifically in that session.

It felt like the right thing to do after the dad work, even though it wasn’t directly related to reprocessing the dad stuff, it was like an extra I added on intuitively because we had 10 minutes remaining.

One of her defences has been going up out into another realm – an esoteric realm – and for a while at the start of the work I focused on grounding her and drawing her esoteric state down in a way that she could meet her grounded self, so as to bring the two parts together.

Once we brought in the Ideal mother in those 10 minutes at the end of the last session, she no longer felt the need to use the Esoteric hiding place anymore.

I love watching these types of journeys. She’s alive, bright, grounded, authentic, independent, changing friends, changing her life, allowing her children space to be themselves, no longer blaming herself for the mess her children are (the 18-year-old is in addiction now, and his dad is also an addict).

She hasn’t been hysterical for weeks now, but the internal shifts after that are an absolute example of someone coming back to their true, authentic self.

Don’t you just love this work!